Jokes

[beebs111]

yhose were pretty funny

[killagorrila99]

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt and then crosses the road again?

A:A dirty double crosser

[saladtossser]

this link is not a joke but still funny, we taste like bacon!
http://www.collisiondetection.net/mt/ar ... ks_pe.html

[girlygirl]

Female Engineers...

File their nails with a Leatherman.

Make jewelry out of wire, resistors, transistors, and chips.

Would rather discuss the strength of a bridge than the strength of their relationship.

Know why a Dickies purse is cool.

Think tools are romantic gifts.

Have thought about re-engineering a bra.

Have tried to make a bra out of duct tape.

Read Popular Mechanics instead of Cosmo for fashion tips.

Are the only ones smart enough to enter into a field that is 95% male.

Have used nail polish remover for more than just removing nail polish.

Know the value of hairspray's flammable properties.

[Flying_Salt]

http://www.bullsballs.com/

relax, it's stuff for trucks

I once saw I guy with those. i was waiting for the walk signal, and he leaned out his window like "hey, like me balls?" and drove away

[KVINCEO]

there are three men, a priest a thief and a mechanic all sentenced to death by a guilitine. the priest goes first and asked if he can face up toward the lord, so he does, inches from his neck the blade stops, and the executioners decide to spare his life. next is the thief, he thought since the priest was saved by facing god he would to, and he also was spared. the last was the mechanic who decided to face the sky as well. the blade was released and the blade stopped, he pointed up at the guilitine and said" Theres your problem"

[Flying_Salt]

There was this kid named Johnny. Johnny Deeper. He had this really hot girl in his class, and one day he told her to take all her clothes off. "But joohhhnnnnyyyyyy" she whined. 'My dad's the principal, and he'll expel you" So she obeys and he starts doing it.....
His dad walks in and sees him and shouts "JOHNNY DEEPER!!" his son said "I'm trying dad!"
yeah not too good I'll type up some more

[Flying_Salt]

Kinda racist...

What do you call a bunch of flying whites? Snow
What do you call a bunch of flying blacks? Night
What do you call a bunch of flying mexicans? Pollution

What do you call some whites pushing a car up a hill? White power
What do you call some blacks pushing a car up a hill? Soul power
What do you call some mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto

An italian, a texan, and a mexican were on a cliff. The italian said "there's too much wine in italy" so he took out a bottle of wine and threw it off. The mexican agreed and threw some crack off the cliff. The texan thought for a minute, and threw the mexican off the cliff.

Why are blacks good at basketball? They can jump, shoot, run.

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (say this out loud...)

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

[saladtossser]

do this to a friend, ask him to finish your sentance

say:
"peace love and ha"

[Flying_Salt]

do this to a friend, ask him to finish your sentance

say:
"peace love and ha"

I don't get it...

[saladtossser]

say "happiness" without the "ha"

[Flying_Salt]

oh ok, kinda of like my "If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?"

[Flying_Salt]

Hey did you know your wenus (spelling?) is the skin on your elbow? Not sure but I'm pretty sure. So you could go to people like "Hey, you bumped me with your wenus. Wanna see mine?"

[MrCrowley]

do this to a friend, ask him to finish your sentance

say:
"peace love and ha"

oh i thought it would end up saying "peave love and hate"

[saladtossser]

Cover yourself! Your epidermis is showing!